Never heard of ソフトバンク株式会社? How about SoftBank? It’s a Japanese telecommunications, internet, finance, media, and marketing zaibatsu now looking to reach across the Pacific pond to snatch a controlling share of #3 U.S. wireless company Sprint Nextel.

Shaking up the mobile market
The deal could see Softbank take a 70 percent stake in Sprint worth more than 1 trillion yen ($12.8 billion). It would allow the combined company to then take a controlling stake in the Sprint minority-owned, and LTE spectrum heavy, Clearwire. They could then use their new global muscle to grab T-Mobile or MetroPCS—and even leverage better terms from hardware manufacturers like iPhone-maker Apple. In fact, the chart below shows how the new company ranks on the global stage.

Business value aside, I’m looking forward to the consumer value of importing the quirky Softbank advertising campaign that features the very non-conventional Shirato family. The mother and sister are Japanese, the brother is black, and the father is a cute white dog. Otosan, meaning Father, is the fluffy, canine patriarch of an otherwise normal human family—and the four-legged star of one of Japan’s most successful advertising campaigns.

The dog days of mobile marketing
Since the first “Shirato Family” commercial in 2007, the long running campaign has produced over 130 episodes. The campaign was created by Creative director Hiroshi Sasaki, TV planner Yoshimitsu Sawamoto, and SoftBank president, Masayoshi Son. The well-loved campaign is seen as a critical part of  SoftBank’s climb from obscurity in the mobile market to rivaling Japan’s largest carrier, NTT DoCoMo.

I welcome the Shirato family to the United States. Other than the beautifully branded T-Mobile girl (recently spared from marketing oblivion when the AT&T deal fell through), other US mobile carriers offer bland, boring, uninspired, and undistinguished marketing. Like so many other areas—manga and anime to video games and pop culture in general—Japan is a leading purveyor of not just technology, but a unique Japanese brand.

That brand may originate in the land of the Rising Sun, but it’s a new, global, post-national culture that Dr. Koichi Iwabuchi has called “mukokuseki” (むこくせき). The word, originally used to describe anime, has been extended across other cultural frontiers. Mukokuseki can be translated as “odorless,” but in this context it means a person who is “stateless” or “without country of origin.” It refers to the way Japanese cultural products can be seen to erase national history and identity in an attempt to more fully integrate with a global audience.

The next big global telcom brand
If there is a CEO who could bring to bare both the business and branding skills needed to build a new global telecom brand, it’s Masayoshi Son. He’s known as a lover of all things American. Son moved to California at age 16, going to high school in San Francisco, and attended the University of California in Berkeley. He was infected by the Silicon Valley virus, and exhibited a rash of entrepreneurial ideas that’s made him the second richest man in Japan.

One of the big advantages of Softbank is its exclusive Japanese iPhone marketing deal—helped along by a friendship with Steve Jobs. Like Jobs, Son’s success, in part, came from a sense of being an outsider striving for greatness, fueled in part from being a Korean child raised in largely homogeneous Japan. His particular mukokuseki could be advantageous in taking a combined Softbank + Sprint + T-Mobile to a dominant position that ties together global consumers with a post-national brand that’s a perfect fit for this Pacific-dominated century.

If Son has his way, it’s only a matter of time before we see the English versions of these Softbank commercials:

Doc: “He’s recovering so fast, its hard to believe he’s human.”
Nurse: “Yeah Doc, I can’t believe he’s human”
Mother: “Yeah…”
Daughter: “Dad’s a genuine human, isn’t that right?”
Dog: “I’m starving”

Weathergirls gone wild

September 6th, 2012 | Posted by admin in culture | funny ha ha - (0 Comments)

What If TV weathercasters told the truth about climate change? Well, this…

Weather girl goes wild

Houston Greenpeace Shell Ad

A fake Shell Oil billboard in Houston reads “You Can’t Run Your SUV on Cute, Let’s Go.”

The sign, courtesy of Greenpeace activists, mocks Shell’s current advertising campaign with an image of a polar bear and cubs. According to Greenpeace, “by chasing after hard-to-reach oil in remote and dangerous places, Shell is putting polar bears, walruses, and other Arctic wildlife at risk.”

Interestingly, the ad was crowdsourced, being selected from over 10,000 user-generated online submissions to ArcticReady.com, an online collaboration with Yes Lab to increase awareness of their anti-Shell campaign. The website, which is modeled to look like an authentic Shell site and created by Greenpeace and Yes Lab, includes an iceberg-zapping game and more spoof ads.

The Houston billboard is one of several moves for opponets of Arctic drilling. Protests have been staged around the globe to bring attention to oil company’s planned exploration in the Chukchi and Beaufort seas. Activists in England, Holland, Germany, and other countries unfurled “#SaveTheArctic” banners and also blocked access to Shell gas stations. The Twitter hashtag campaign included pleas from Sir Paul McCartney and Pamela Anderson.

The Guardian described some of the protesters’ tactics in England, which involved using an emergency-shut-off switch to prevent the pumping of petrol and then removing a fuse to keep it from being reactivated. About 70 Greenpeace activists also blocked access to Shell’s headquarters in The Hague and hung a banner on the building proclaiming “Stop Shell, Save The Arctic.”

Here are other examples of the campaign:

Energy independence? We're getting warmer.

 

 

Fake Shell Ad Polar Bear and Boy

Binary trivia

April 11th, 2012 | Posted by admin in culture | funny ha ha | pr0n - (0 Comments)

I thought this was a joke. I kept expecting the record-scratch sound effect, and the real commercial to start. But no—this really is a product.

Sure it sounds great on paper: it’s “the only phone accessory on earth that’s truly hands free.” It works with all cell phones, even cordless phones, and doesn’t require batteries. But do you want to look like a total n00b?

Hey, life moves pretty fast—if you don’t stop and..um, drive around…you could mss it. Honda’s commercial for the 2012 CR-V features famed Ferris actor Matthew Broderick in a Super Bowl spot that’s packed with homages to the beloved 80′s classic. ”How can I handle work on a day like today?”

My suggestion for the next movie featured in a Honda CR-V ad: Office Space.

Honda Ferris Bueller Super Bowl

Ooh la launch!

January 27th, 2012 | Posted by admin in culture | funny ha ha | pr0n - (0 Comments)

At this year’s Spring Space Fashion show in Houston, NASA is bringing sexy back to space. Gone is the sixties inspired bulky and baggy fabrics—say hello to smooth and snug carbon fiber composites. U.S. astronauts may be bumming rides from Russia, but with all the heads they’re turning at the Baikonur Cosmodrome, nobody remembers these sexy style troopers are without their own ride for the foreseeable future.

Eat the noodles you will

November 22nd, 2011 | Posted by admin in advertising | culture | funny ha ha - (0 Comments)

Powerful Jedi Masters can work up a powerful hunger for the steaming hot starchy goodness of this famous Japanese noodle dish. No wonder the trash compactors on the detention level were so full. From swampy Dagobah to frigid Hoth or sweltering Tatooine, who doesn’t like ramen? Especially when it’s a Japanese commercial featuring Yoda as a 900 year old pitchman levitating the product. Oh, miso hungry.

Political Brand Troubles #212

November 21st, 2011 | Posted by admin in funny ha ha - (0 Comments)

The indefatigable Spartan brand

October 17th, 2011 | Posted by admin in brand | culture | funny ha ha - (0 Comments)

The Battle of Thermopylae took place over 2,500 years ago, yet still captivates the heads and hearts of Westerners everywhere. When the blockbuster video game Halo needed a name for the bravest, most heroic, and utterly indefatigable super solider, SPARTAN was the name. Although set in the future, it shouldn’t seem out of place that the Spartan brand would still resonate 30 centuries after Thermopylae.

Here, in the words of Herodotus, is a description of The Battle of Thermopylae:

Xerxes sent a mounted spy to observe the Greeks, and note how many they were, and see what they were doing. He had heard, before he came out of Thessaly, that a few men were assembled at this place, and that at their head were certain Lacedaemonians, under Leonidas, a descendant of Hercules. The horseman rode up to the camp, and looked about him, but did not see the whole army; for such as were on the further side of the wall (which had been rebuilt and was now carefully guarded) it was not possible for him to behold; but he observed those on the outside, who were encamped in front of the rampart. It chanced that at this time the Lacedaemonians held the outer guard, and were seen by the spy, some of them engaged in gymnastic exercises, others combing their long hair. At this the spy greatly marvelled, but he counted their number, and when he had taken accurate note of everything, he rode back quietly; for no one pursued after him, nor paid any heed to his visit. So he returned, and told Xerxes all that he had seen.

Upon this, Xerxes, who had no means of surmising the truth – namely, that the Spartans were preparing to do or die manfully – but thought it laughable that they should be engaged in such employments, sent and called to his presence Demaratus the son of Ariston, who still remained with the army. When he appeared, Xerxes told him all that he had heard, and questioned him concerning the news, since he was anxious to understand the meaning of such behaviour on the part of the Spartans. Then Demaratus said -

“I spake to thee, O king! concerning these men long since, when we had but just begun our march upon Greece; thou, however, didst only laugh at my words, when I told thee of all this, which I saw would come to pass. Earnestly do I struggle at all times to speak truth to thee, sire; and now listen to it once more. These men have come to dispute the pass with us; and it is for this that they are now making ready. ‘Tis their custom, when they are about to hazard their lives, to adorn their heads with care. Be assured, however, that if thou canst subdue the men who are here and the Lacedaemonians who remain in Sparta, there is no other nation in all the world which will venture to lift a hand in their defence. Thou hast now to deal with the first kingdom and town in Greece, and with the bravest men.”

Then Xerxes, to whom what Demaratus said seemed altogether to surpass belief, asked further, “how it was possible for so small an army to contend with his?”

“O king!” Demaratus answered, “let me be treated as a liar, if matters fall not out as I say.”